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[Sheflug] Sigs Was: Re: MySQL
Hi
Well, if you really like signatures then here is a good example of
what you get when someone doesn't ask questions about what's going
on .......
A good sig [as defined by Sheflug users]
I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in
after
me... I pushed "1" and he just stood there... I said,
"Hi, where
you going?" He said, "Phoenix." So I pushed Phoenix. A
few seconds
later the doors opened, two tumbleweeds blew in... we
were in
downtown Phoenix. I looked at him and said, "You know,
you're the
kind of guy I want to hang around with."
--
Steven Wright
Kibo's .signature
.SIGNATURE UNDER CONSTRUCTION....... LAST REVISED 5/12/1990
11:02:32 PM
AND ALSO LAST REVISED
5/22/90 11:27:59 PM
AND 8/22/1990 10:03:16
PM TOO
AND 8/25/90 01:57:08
PM
AND 11/11/90 12:35:53
AM <-- LAST TIME!!
(WOW, FOUR 1'S IN A
ROW!!!!)
AND 7/8/91 2:06:03 AM
<-- LATE NIGHT!!
AND 9/6/91 2:51:26AM
<--- LATER!!!
AND 2/9/91^H^H92
4:25:43AM <--- WOW!!!!
AND 7/8/92 1:58:59AM
<-- CALL IT 2!!!
AND 7/31/92 1:27:49AM <-- JUST FOR
ONE NEW LINE!!!!
NOT COUNTING THE ABOVE ONE OF
COURSE!!!!!!!!
AND 12:58:53 9/11/92 FOR ONE MORE!!!
NOW IT'S DONE!!!!
AND 9/25/92 1:24:33AM <--
AGAIN!!!
AND 9.29.92 2L37L48AM
AND 10/6/92 3:18:31AM <--
LATE BEDTIME HUH !!!!
COPYRIGHT (C)
COPYR.1988,1990,1989,1992
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
TODOS LOS DERECHOS
RESERVADOS!!!
THIS POSTING MAY NOT
BE REPORDUCED IN ANY
FORM WITHOUT MY
WRITTEN PERMISSION
OR SOLD FOR MONETARY
FINANCIAL PROFIT.
AND 6/13/92 3:45:26PM
<-- FRI THE 13TH !!!
I WROTE IT ALL BY MYSELF BUT THANKS TO MARK AND JASON
DOMINUS, AND TO MATHEW
WHOSE LAST NAME I FORGOT!!! AND ALL THOSE AUSSIES NAMED
"IAIN"!!!
I DIDN'T MAKE ANY SPELLING ERRERS SO
YOU CAN'T POST THIS SIGNATURE TO
ALT.FAN.WARLORD!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
^L
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN.
___
/(()\
\__\|
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON THE INTERNET.
___ +-----+
/(()\ | VAX |
\__\|===+_____+
^L
____
/ \__
|\ / @ \
\ \_______| \ .:|> "Dogs aren't ALLOWED?
WAAAAAAH!"
\ ##| | \__/
| ####\__/ \ -- Spot
/ / ## \|
/ /__________\ \
L_JJ \__JJ
S C R A T C H A N D S N
I F F
to enjoy the aromatic aroma of beautiful downtown
schenectady !!!!
_____________________________________________________________________________
james "kibo" parry, 151 tremont st #8u, boston ma 02111 <-
not schenectady.
kibo@world.std.COM
_________________________________________________
kibo@world.COM@uunet.COM / Kibology / Anything I say
is my opinion,
kibo@world.BITNET@bitnet.COM is better! / and is the
opposite of Xibo's.
__________________________/_____________/_____________________________________
"All colors are arbitrary." --Carl Sagan / Bozos use
anything but emacs!
__________________________________________/___________________________________
Wacky, wild, Kibo style! / You're allowed. (Unless you
don't want to be...
________________________/_ you are also allowed to not be
allowed.) _________
I never said I wasn't a bozo.
/____________________________________/_Hi mom!_
_____________________________/ Life is silly but should be
taken seriously.
Some days you / Klods * / TV is evil and should be
destroyed. Really.
just can't get / for
/__________________________________________________
rid of a bomb. / klods / Moisten needle before inserting
Taiwan. / 298R
______________/_________/__________________________________________/_________
* Note: "Klods for Klods" is the motto of Lego(tm) blocks in
Lego's native
Denmark, where they speak Danish. It means "Block by
block". Neat, huh????
_____________________________________________________________________________
You're reading my .signature file. / COMMODORE 64S RULE
THE WORLD !!!!!!!!!
___________________________________/_________________________________________
"I'm Bozo, the world's most famous clown!" -- the world's
most famous clown
_____________________________________________________________________________
I've read all of Kurt Vonnegut Junior's books and my
favorite is "Breakfast
Of Champions", my second favorite is "Chariots Of The Gods".
I love them all.
My other favorite author is Philip K. Dick who wrote "Do
Androids Dream Of
Sheep?", "Clams Of The Alphane Moon", "OBIK", "Man In The
Castle", and "Total
Recall"! Oh, and Stephen King is absolutely the best too!
And Derrida!
_____________________________________________________________________________
If it doesn't say PURINA, / / Bart
Simpson and Charlie
bury it in the yard! / BYTE ME! / Brown are
both GIRLS!
________________________/_____________________/______________________________
THIS ENTIRE MESSAGE IS COPYRIGHTED (C)1989/90
MCMLXXXIX/MCMLXL BY JAMES "KIBO"
PARRY AND MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, SOLD, READ, PRINTED, OR
REPLIED TO WITHOUT
MY EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION. HE IS SERIOUS AND WILL SUE
YOUR PANTS OFF.
_____________________________________________________________________________D
||
_______________________________________________________________________
||I
|| ||
|| ||S
|| ||------> I'M NOT BIFF !!!!!! HE'S NOT ME !!!!!!!
<------|| ||C
++-++-------------------------------------------------------------------++-+|L
|| ||------> BIFF IS TOO OBNOXIOUS TO BE ME !!!!!!!!
<------|| ||A
|| ||------> ALSO HIS .SIGNATURE IS LONGER !!!!!!!!!
<------|| ||I
||
||___________________________________________________________________||
||M
||_________________________________________________________________________||E
_____________________________________________________________________________R
"BOZE NOSE BOOKS!" -- Bozo, The World's Most Famous Clown /
QUAIL SUCKS
__________________________________________________________/__________________
/
Orwell was an optimist. / "There is infinite hope, but not
for us." - Kafka
________________________/____________________________________________________
Join the Kibo Fan Club! Send lots of money to the address
above, RIGHT NOW!
_____________________________________________________________________________
All generalizations stink. / Kibology is *NOT* Satanism!
/ Ollie for prez
___________________________/_______________________________/_________________
DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY! / What's fahefergnugen? / QUAIL
STILL SUCKS! ! !
_______________________/__________________________/__________________________
"The secret word is... SIL! Now you all know what to do
whenever anybody
says the secret word, right? SCREAM REAL LOUD!" -- Pee
Wee Herman
_____________________________________________________________________________
If I said anything to offend anyone in this message, I'm
sorry and didn't
mean to hurt your feelings.
________________________________________________
____________________________/ "Losing our marbles for the
last 23 years"
I hope you're enjoying / I'm gonna be 24 soon! My
birthday is July 13,
reading this posting... / send presents! The day
before Bastille Day!
_________________________/___________________________________________________
If Lambada is the forbidden dance, why did they make a movie
about it?
_____________________________________________________________________________
Hi Tale [at] Rpi.Edu! / You are here X / What's Peewee
Herman's favorite
_________________/___________________/ baseball team? THE
EXPOS!
Garrison Keillor is my hero /
(rec.humor.funny)
___________________________________/_________________________________________
"Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here!"
-- STAR TREK
_____________________________________________________________________________
"SIL!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
_____________________________________________________________________________
There's a mouse in my apartment right now while I'm typing
this. Isn't
that an incredible coincidence! Have you ever been using
this bboard while
a mouse was in your room. Now I have.........?
_____________________________________________________________________________
Anyone who thinks anyone else should be shot should be shot;
the NRA is a
bunch of bozos just like the Democrats AND Republicans AND
Williard Scott.
Kill the Fascists and Communists and all the other nuts too.
Kill 'em all!
_____________________________________________________________________________
"I'm Batman!" -- BATMAN THE MOVIE / This space
intentionally left blank.
(THE BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD!!!!) /
__________________________________/__________________________________________
Elvis lives. / "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay..." --MONTY
PYTHON / Hug me
_____________/_____________________________________________________/_________
Did I spell anything wrong? If so, please tell me so I can
post a correction.
_____________________________________________________________________________
|\ My favorite PostScript font is Chicago! Times
Roman is just a cheap
--- \ ripoff of the real New York. And you don't even have
to be in Chicago
___ / to use Chicago! I printed my whole resume in 36pt
Chicago Bold Shadow!
__|/_________________________________________________________________________
| "Beauty and the Beast" may be cancelled, but it lives on
forever in our |
| hearts and minds and hearts! It will live forever even
though it's dead!|
|___________________________________________________________________________|
Can I have a cookie? / The Kibology Center is a
non-non-profit arm of the
_____________________/ National Association for Kibological
Awareness(NAKA).
I'M 100% FLAMEPROOF
/________________________________________________________
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Harry Graber, age 11, is dying of a fatal disease which will
eventually kill
him. Before he dies, he would like to be in the "Guinness"
Book of "Records"
for receiving the most postcards in the mail. Please send
him lots of
postcards at the below address:
Kibo, PO Box 722, Boston MA 02116-0722 (USA)
Although he is very ill and only barely clinging to life, he
gets thousands
of postcards a day from people like you. He writes back,
personally, to
each and every single one. Amazingly, everyone who writes
to Harry recieves
a year of good luck afterwards! Mrs. Bertha Briggs of
Poughkeepsie, NY
recently wrote to Harry and then won the lottery the very
next day--AND her
dog was cured of cancer! Plus, if you write now, Harry will
send you
his miracle POSTCARD DIET which will allow you to lose 100
pounds a week!
THIS IS NOT A SCAM!
This service is FREE!
Please enclose $14.95 for postage and
handling.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
HANDY "TWIN PEEKS" CHART
[murder]<-->[LAURA]<--/-->[Bob]<--["Bob"]
| ^
| ^
This is fun to read even if you haven't v v
v |
seen the series. I like my chart, and [David [That FBI
guy] ["J.R."]
I've never seen the show! Lynch] ^
^
/ |
|
v
[donuts] [Bobby in
[the log lady]<->[flouridation]-->["Eraserheads"] =
the shower]
^ ^ [sex]
|
| | /->[Monty Python's Flying Circles]
v
[bag [lumber-
/->[Ted Bundy]
ladies] jacks]<--["RoboJox"]<->[VW]<->[FOX]-->[Al&Peg
Bundy]
^ | ^
\->[Children]
| v |
[the dog-faced boy]-->[Laura's<-/->[the Simpsons]<--[Life in
Hell]<--[UseNet]
evil twin]
|
v
And remember, the name of the show is a breast metaphor.
[alt.tv.twin.peeks]
^ ^
| ^
/ |
v |
[Mike Douglas]=[Douglas firs]-->[breasts] [drumsticks]
[rmgroups] /->[logs]
|
\______________________________________/ ^
v
|
[Albert]<--/-->[furry white rats]-->[green
rats]-->[traffic [the log lady]
^
lights] (here too!)
| [walk with fire me]---> ^
^
[Layland]<-->[Pinky Lee] |
|
[Herve
Villachaise]<--[tattoos] ["Bob"]
_____________________________________________________________________________
My favroite sci-fi/fantasy short story is / VOTE NIXON /
The SubGenius
"The Eye of Argon" by L. Ron Hubbard! / IN 1992 /
must wear slacks!
_________________________________________/______________/____________________
Best Skeleton Joke Ever: "What do you call fish bones?"
"Skele-tuna!" :-)
_____________________________________________________________________________
I spell things the way I want, since William Safire is too
wimpy to stop me!
_____________________________________________________________________________
"The medium is the message!" -- Marshall Mike Luhan / I'm
a lumberjack...
_____________________________________________________/_______________________
I know the Green Golfball Joke! I'd post it here but BitNet
doesn't allow
R-rated jokes to be posted here so I won't post it! That's
a violation of
your unconstitutional rights and you should complain to your
sysop!
_____________________________________________________________________________
MY TETRIS HIGH SCORE ON MY NINTENDO IS 999,990 -- THAT'S A
WORLD RECORD!
I HAVE PHOTOS OF THE TV SCREEN TO PROVE IT! THEY DIDN'T
COME OUT THOUGH.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
\\\\\\\\\\
\\\\\\\\\\ \\ \\ \\
\\ \\
\\\\\\\\\\ \\/ \\/
\\/ \\/ \\/
\\\\\\\\\\
\\\\\\\\\\ AMIGA ONLY! \\ \\ \\
\\ \\ \\
\\\\\\\\\\ \\/ \\/ \\/
\\/ \\/ \\/
\\\\\\\\\\ ___
\\\\\\\\\\ /. .\
\\\\\\\\\\ |\_/|
\\\\\\\\\\ \___/
\\\\\\\\\\ /####\ /######\ ###
/##### /######\
\\\\\\\\\\ ## ## ## ## ## ###
## ## ##
\\\\\\\\\\ ## ## ## ## ## ###
## ### ## ##
\\\\\\\\\\ ////////###### ## ## ## ###
## ### ########
\\\\\\\\\\ //////// ## ## ## ## ## ###
\##### ## ##
\\\\\\\\\\ ////////
\\\\\\\\\\ //////// /##### ### ###
#####\ ### ###
\\\\\\\\\//////// ## ## ## ##
## ## ## GRAFIX
\\\\\\\//////// ## ### ## ##
######\ ## ##
\\\\\//////// ## ## ## ## ##
## ## ## WIZARD
\\\//////// \##### \#######/ ##
## \#####/
_____________________________________________________________________________
_______________ | __ _ ____
/ \ |\/\/\/| r | |\\ | | \ / ,__\
AIR SUPPLY
| "Have a cow, |__ | @ [at] | a | ||\\ | |_/ \ |
_ _ |
| man!" / | ' | d | || \\ | | \ \\
| | |\ |\ | \ /
\_______________/ | \___/ i | ||__\\ \ \\
| | |/ |/ | |
| | c d | ||___\\ \ \\
\_/ | | |__ |
a u | || \\ \\__//
| | |
as seen on BART l d | \__/
FOX! SIMPSON e | THE MOST AWESOME
HEAVY METAL BAND !!!
_____________________________________|_______________________________________
^L
^L
# # #### # # # ##### ######
# # # ,, # # # # # # #
# # # # # # # # # #####
# #\__/# # # ##### #
# # # # # # # #
# #### #### # # ######
## # # #### # # ######
#### ##
# # # # # oo # # # # #
# ##
# # # # # # # # ##### #
# ##
###### # # #\__/# # ## # # #
# ##
# # # # # # ## ## # #
#
# # ###### ###### #### # # ######
#### ##
HAVE A NICE DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PLEASE POST YOUR REPLIES TO THIS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT
MY NET ADDRESS IS!
ALSO PLEASE CROSS-POST TO LOTS OF GROUPS SINCE IT MIGHT NOT
BE A GROUP I READ!
[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]
This blank region of empty space is a hollow void that
adds lines to the
length of this .signature's
physical size.
[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]
***** ___ ___ _________
* / \ / \ | _______ |
* | V | | | * * | | HELP
ME NAME MY
* \ / | |_____| | APPLE
SE/30 WITH
* \ / | === | 40MB
MEGABYTE DRIVE
* \ / |_________|
***** v |||||||||
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <---
Aren't these cute?
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <--- I
was the one who
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <---
invented them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|\
---*-- | \
-""" \__| \
/ : Qld : TAS \
/ :........ \
' SA : AA :.......*| x = Schenectady NY USA
\ : * :NSW /
\* :/""""""\`..x */
----' VIC\ *`./
""""
\"""/
NT\*/
Dan Quayle is Howdy Doody! (And Susan Sontag is the Bride
of Frankenstein!)
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| S T O P C A S T I N G P O R O S
I T Y |
+____________________________________________________________________________+
I've been to Cheers(TM) in downtown Boston and I have a
T-Shirt that says
Cheers(TM) and the official Cheers(TM) Plastic Souvenir
Shopping Bag!
Hey, is Ted Danson really as bald as they say? He couldn't
be, his hair's
fluffy, and wigs can't be fluffy! William Shatner wears a
toupee though,
I bet you didn't know that! I hope I never go bald. I'd
lose my sex appeal.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Fats Loves Madelyn. / Honk if you hate bumper stickers that
say "Honk if ..."
___________________/_________________________________________________________
"We're like gerbils. We're in a cage running around and
around."
-- Tom Brokaw
_____________________________________________________________________________
"OH WHAT A ZINGER!!!" -- CHRIS ELIOT / "Married With
Children" is the best
GET A LIFE / TV show ever! Ted
is the greatest!
_____________________________________/_______________________________________
Fly KLM! / Did you hear that PeeWee Herman was arrested
for masterbating?
__________/____
Really!______________________________________________________
Dana Hersey is Willie Whistle in addition to hosting The
Movie Loft (channel 6)
_____________________________________________________________________________
Read alt.exploding.kibo, the group about exploding kibo! /
NO FATE
________________________________________________________/
I put microwave coffee in the Tater Twister and almost /
KNOW FUTURE
went back in time! -- Steven Wright (Emerson alumnus)/
_____________________________________________________/ NO
DOGS ALLOWED
"NOT!" -- WAYNE'S WORLD / "The Stevemeisterooski!" /
________________________/__________________________/_________POOR
SPOT______
"If I had MY OWN NETWORK, it would be on ALL the TIME. It
would be EDUCATIONAL,
like COSMOS and NOVA, but not so DRY. It would best be seen
on HIGH-definition
TELEVISION. And every DAY we'd READ from the BOOK of CHER,
because when you
READ from the BOOK of CHER, it doesn't MATTER if you
UNDERSTAND... it's the ACT
that MATTERS. MY network would be METAphysical, paraNORMAL,
and EXTRAORDINARILY
ORDINARY. It would COMPEL you to RELAX and read `MADAME
BOVARY', LOOK into the
MOUTHS of VOLCANOES and LEARN to make RISOTTO... It would
have a LINEAR BUILD
and ARISTOTELIAN LINES... MY network would be both JARRING
and AVANT-GARDE...
with just a TOUCH of BRIAN DENNEHY. MY network would not
promote WAR, WASTE,
DOUBT or ANXIETY, and would pose the question... What was
MICHELLE PFEIFFER
doing in `Grease 2'?" -- Sean E. Coates, the "E!" poster
child
**************************(.signature
continued)*******************************
HOW MANY POSTS A DAY I MADE LAST WEEK
***************************************************************************
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
** W*T T*W*T T*WT
**
* W*T*F M*T* *F * F M* *F
M *
* T* * * * * * * *
* *
* * * * * M * * *
* *
* * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * *
*
** * * * * * * * * *
**
* M S*S SS S*S S*S
*
* *
*
* S
*
* ^Labor Day ^Sep 14 ^Sep 28
*
*
*
* * * *
*
240 -x- 280 0 -y-
15000***************************************************
*******************************************************************************
MY TEN FAVORITE QUOTES: Broad-mindedness, n.: The result of flattening
high-
mindedness out. There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself
to be
burned for an opinion. All the good ones are taken. "Microwave oven?
Whaddya
mean, it's a microwave oven? I've been watching Channel 4 on the thing
for two
weeks." Murphy was an optimist. Love means having to say you're sorry
every
five minutes. No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your
defeats --
approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less. Get forgiveness
now --
tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty. Commitment can be illustrated
by a
breakfast of ham and eggs. The chicken was involved, the pig was
committed.
You are here ------> * But you're not all there. Kirkland, Illinois,
law
forbids bees to fly over the village or through any of its streets.
Love and
scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. A clairvoyant is a person,
commonly a
woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her
patron --
namely, that he is a blockhead. A multi-day event on public
television, used
to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials. Try to get
all of
your posthumous medals in advance. The bureaucracy is expanding to
meet the
needs of an expanding bureaucracy. The intelligence of any
discussion
diminishes with the square of the number of participants. The hearing
ear is
always found close to the speaking tongue, a custom whereof the
memory of man
runneth not howsomever to the contrary, nohow. Good advice is
something a
man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. -- La
Rouchefoucauld
Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's Chem.
Eng. 130
midterm. Once again no student received a single point on his exam.
Newell
has now tossed 5 shutouts this quarter. Newell's earned exam average
has now
dropped to a phenomenal 30%"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as
I'm
rich." -- "Ali Baba Bunny" [1957, Chuck Jones] Marriage is the only
adventure
open to the cowardly. -- Voltaire The First Rule of Program
Optimization:
Don't do it. The Second Rule of Program Optimization (for experts
only!):
Don't do it yet. -- Michael Jackson Goldenstern's Rules: (1) Always
hire a
rich attorney (2) Never buy from a rich salesman. The problem ... is
that we
have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for
the
Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals;
they've
piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top
of cows,
raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have
managed to
do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of
Middle
Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most
of the
laboratory rats developed cancer. -- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum
Guzzler" If
a 6600 used paper tape instead of core memory, it would use up tape
at about
30 miles/second. -- Grishman, Assembly Language Programming Peanut
Blossoms 4
cups sugar 16 tbsp. milk 4 cups brown sugar 4 tsp. vanilla 4 cups
shortening 14 cups flour 8 eggs 4 tsp. soda 4 cups peanut butter
4 tsp.
salt Shape dough into balls. Roll in sugar and bake on ungreased
cookie
sheet at 375 F. for 10-12 minutes. Immediately top each cookie with a
Hershey's kiss or star pressing down firmly to crack cookie. Makes a
hell of
a lot. Gyroscope, n.: A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about
an axis
and also free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular
to each
other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the two
mutually
perpendicular axes results from application of torque to the other
when the
wheel is spinning and so that the entire apparatus offers
considerable
opposition depending on the angular momentum to any torque that would
change
the direction of the axis of spin. -- Webster's Seventh New
Collegiate
Dictionary. In fifteen minutes, everyone will be famous. -- Andy
Warhol
_______________________________________________________________________________
.--------------.
.---' o . `---.
.-' . O . . `-.
.-' @@@@@@ . `-.
.'@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ . `.
.'@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ `.
/@@@ o @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ [at] O \
/ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @ @@@@@@@@@ @@ . \
/@ o @@@@@@@@@@@ . @@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @ [at] \
/@@@ . @@@@@@ o @ @@@@@@@@@@@@@ o @@@ [at] \
/@@@@@ @ . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@ \
|@@@@@ O `.-./ . . @@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@ [at] |
/ @@@@@ --`-' o @@@@@@@@@@@ @@ [at] . \ Full
Moon +
|@ @@@@ . @ @ ` @ @@ . @@@@@@ | 0
5:15:36
| @@ o @@ . @@@@@ [at] | Last
Quarter -
| . @ @ @ o @@ o @@@@@ [at] . | 7
3:55:27
\ @ @ @ .-. @@@@ @@@ /
| @ @ @ `-' . @@@@ . . |
\ . o @ @@@@ . @ [at] . . /
\ @@@ @@@@@@ . o /
\ @@@@@ @@\@@ / O . /
\ o @@ [at] \ \ / __ . . .--. /
\ . . \.-.--- `--' /
`. `-' . .'
`. o / | ` O . .'
`-. / | o .-'
`-. . . .-'
`---. . .---'
`--------------'
I AM NOT A BOZO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
^L
____|||||///
/ |||||//// TERMINATOR TWO: BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD
!!!!!11
/ __ || ////
| L| : === "Hasta la vista, baby!" -- ARNOLD
SCHWARZENEGGER
| | __ : ___ =|= (a personal
friend)
| (_) :/__) |
|/ | \| <--- THE TERMINATOR
| .\ |
\ \ \ : / I HOPE TERMINATOR THREE DOESN'T SUCK DEAD
BUNNIES
| HHH--- | THRU A STRAW LIKE BATMAN TWO !!!!!11
\____:___/
"THERE IS NO BATHROOM" -- MY PAL ARNOLD, KINDERGARTEN COP
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;::::;::::::::::::::
My son Herbie, age 7, needs a computer for school and I can't afford
one, would anyone like to give us one? It would be a tax deduction
for
you! Herbie wants a Mac IIfx with a Color PostScript printer. He
needs
this by next week! All the other kids in his class have them
already!!!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
STAR TREK RULEZ!!! ________^_______ ============= - - - - -
- - - -
\______ _____/\ / / - - - - -
- -
Write-in to Paramount V \ \_____/__/_ - - - - WHOOSH!
- - -
to keep them from killing Spock )|US ENTERPRISE/ - - - - - -
-
in their next movie!!!! |____________/ - - - - - - - - -
-
TOP TEN STAR TREK QUOTES 10) "I'm a doctor, not a mechanic."
9) "Dammit Jim!" 8) "Spit it out, man!"
7) "I kinna do it Captain, I have not th' power!"
6) "Where's the beef?" 5) "They're BORN pregnant!"
4) "His BRAIN is missing!" "Oh... you noticed."
** send mail if you want the rest **
Majel Barett was only on STAR TREK because she was married to William
Shatner.
The new STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION new series that they're making
now is too full of Yuppie bozos. And the special effects are too
good.
SHATNER COULDN'T DIRECT HIS WAY OUT OF THE BATHROOM WITH BOTH HANDS
AND A MAP!
------------------------------------=-----------------------------------------
I have discovered a truly wonderful proof of Fermat's Last Theorem,
but
unfortunately this .signature is too small to contain it.
-----------------------------------=----------------------------------------------
There exist no legitimate audio tapes of me admitting to being
an alien, a government agent, a sexual pervert, or the
camp-follower of little grey men from Zeta Reticuli.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
I watch Nick at Nite all day! Xibo watches stupid soap operas!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
MY .SIGNATURE IS MORE POSTMODERN THAN YOURS! (It's even autographed
by
William S. Burroughs. See--->?) /
\/\/. \. Burroughs
/
I wish he hadn't stopped writing those Tarzan books though!!!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have an out-of-date copy of each of the following MTS manuals: Vol.
1, 2,
5, 7, 11, 14, 15, 16, and 24. If you want a copy, I'm selling 'em, $1
each.
I also have lots of plastic bags for five cents each!
/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\
_________
/ \
| |
\__\ /__/
--| |--
-| |-
/| |\
/////\\\\\\
NUKE THE DAMN BUNNY ALREADY!!!!
| _
\ /
UU __
==/ \
/\__o |
*|__\__/
/_ \_ "boomp boomp boomp boomp boomp..." "BOOM!!!!!!!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***** ***** ***** ****************
******************
***** ***** ***** *****************
********************
***** ***** ***** ******************
**********************
***** ***** ***** ***** ****** ******
******
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** My
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** name
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** is
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** short
*****
*************** ***** *************** ***** 'cause
*****
**************** ***** **************** ***** it's
*****
***************** ***** ***************** ***** only
*****
***** ****** ***** ***** ****** ***** four
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** letters!
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
*****
***** ***** ***** ***** ****** ******
******
***** ***** ***** ******************
**********************
***** ***** ***** *****************
********************
***** ***** ***** ****************
******************
AND THIS IS THE PART OF THE .SIG THAT BROKE MIKE JITTLOV'S AMIGA!!!
V guvax guvf dhbgr ol Qnir Oneel, zl snibevgr jevgre, rkcynvaf jul V
bsgra jrne zl haqrejrne ba zl urnq jura V tb gb jbex:
Nyy lbh unir gb qb gb frr gur npphenpl bs zl gurfvf vf ybbx nebhaq
lbh. Ybbx, va cnegvphyne, ng gur crbcyr jub, yvxr lbh, ner znxvat
nirentr vapbzrf sbe qbvat nirentr wbof -- onax ivpr cerfvqragf,
vafhenapr fnyrfzna, nhqvgbef, frpergnevrf bs qrsrafr -- naq lbh'yy
ernyvmr gurl nyy qerff gur fnzr jnl, rffragvnyyl gur jnl gur
znaardhvaf
va gur Frnef zrafjrne qrcnegzrag qerff. Abj ybbx ng gur erny
fhpprffrf, gur crbcyr jub znxr n ybg zber zbarl guna lbh -- Rygba
Wbua,
Pncgnva Xnatnebb, nalobql sebz Fnhqv Nenovn, Ovt Oveq, naq fb ba.
Gurl
nyy qerff shaal -- naq gurl nyy fhpprrq. Ner lbh pngpuvat ba?
-- Qnir Oneel, "Ubj gb Qerff sbe Erny Fhpprff"
TO DECODE THE FUNNIST JOKE IN THE UNIVERSE JUST PIPE THAT THROUGH
"UUDECODE(1)"
_____________________________________________________________________________
R-RATED GIF FOLLOWS, PRESS N NOW!
^L
O
(.|.)
).( TIFFANY BRISSETE HAS A GREAT BOD! WOO WOO!!!! HUBBA HUBBA!
YOW!
( | )
\|/
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
fee fi fo feh. fee fi fo feh. fee fi fo feh. fee fi fo feh. fee fi
fo feh.
_____________________________________________________________________________
"100% gist-free!" -- Amy S. Brockman on Kibo's .signature.
Compliment... or CONSPIRACY?
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
My favorite painters are Pollock, Rothko, Warhol, Dali', Miro',
Tanguy,
Rockwell, Warhol, and myself. I'm almost as good as Dali'
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My least favorite musical composer is Salieri, since he was a bozo.
____________________
/ \
/ \
^______________/ __ __ \______________^
\ | / \ / \ | /
\ | | o | | o | | /
\ | \__/__ \__/ | /
\ | / \ | /
\ | \__/ | /
BO- \____| __________ |____/ -ZO
| / ________ \ |
\ | / ______ \ | /
\ |/_/ \_\| /
\____________________/
|
|
\ | /
\----+-----/
|
|
|
/\
/ \
/ \
_____________/ \____________ (clown
shoes)
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Ich bin ein .signature Virus. Mach' mit und kopiere mich in Deine
.signature.
Don't ask what it means, just put it in your .signature, okay?
_____________________________________________________________________________
THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS POSTING ARE SOLELY THE AUTHORS' AND DO
NOT
NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF DIGITAL EQUIPMENT CORPORATION, RENSSELAER
POLY-
POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE, PENN STATE, IBM, NASA, HARVARD UNIVERSITY,
SCIENTOLOGY,
ATARI CORP., STANFORD UNIVERSITY, BITNET INC., SOFTWARE TOOL & DIE,
INFOCOM,
PRODIGY, RALSTON PURINA INC., JAPAN, LYNDON LaROUCHE, THE SYSOP OF
USENET,
GEORGE BUSH, THE LONDON TIMES, ORACLE CORPORATION, WILLIE WHISTLE,
STAR TREK
THE NEXT GENERATION, THE HOME SHOPPING CLUB, THE HAIR CHANNEL FOR MEN,
OR THE
CITY OF NEW YORK. HOWEVER YOU CAN'T SUE ME FOR SAYING ANY OF THIS
BECAUSE
IF YOU SUE ME YOU'D HAVE TO QUOTE ME IN COURT AND THEN I'D SUE YOU FOR
QUOTING THIS COPYRIGHTED (C) MESSAGE!!! MY COUSINS ARE ALL LAWYERS
!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
******************************************************************************
* NEW drawing!
*
* of a RADIK00L sword thats even BIGGER then the USS ENTERPRISE wow!
*
*
*
* ___
*
* /\/ / ====@==== /////////
---------
* / _/ ``________//
*
* / / `------'
-------------
* / /
*
* __===__ / /
*
*/ \/----+---------------------------------------\______
*
*| | XCALIBER THE DECAPITATER!!!!
\______________*
*| |
/~~~~~~~~ *
*\__====_/\---+----------------------------------------/~~~~~~
*
* \ \
*
* \ \
*
* \ \
*
* \ \_
*
* \ \ NOTE: This isnt a hyperdermic needel
!!!!!! *
* \ \
*
* \/\_\
*
* ITS SO GOOD I FRAMED
IT !!!!*
******************************************************************************
aibophobia (ay' bo fo beeya): n. The fear of palindromes.
kibophobia (ki' bo fo beeya): n. The fear of Kibo.
kibophobik (ki' bo fo bik): n. The fear of Kibo's palindromes.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'M STILL 100% FLAMEPROOF! / I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP! /
HI MARK!
____________________________/____________________________________/___________
Arsenio Hall is the black Johnny Carson but Byron Allen is the black
Pat Sajak!
But at least Byron Allen is funnier than Skip Stephenson or John
Barbour!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
IBM's "AIX" operating system is better than "real" "UNIX" systems
because "AIX" has "man" pages that show "pictures" of each "command"!
Here's an "example", isn't this "cute"?
RM, DELETE(1,C) AIX Commands Reference RM,
DELETE(1,C)
PURPOSE
Removes files or directories.
SYNTAX
one of
+--------+ +------------+
| rm |---| +----+ |--- file ---|
| delete | +---| -f |---+ ^ |
+--------+ ^ | -i | | +--------+
| | -r | |
| | -- | |
| | -s | |
| +----+ |
+--------+
____________________________________________________ \o clip and save
_______
/O
<--those are
scissors
.------------
.--' o . . `--
.-' . O . . `
.-'@ @@@@@@@ . @@@@@
/@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ .<--- Crater Parry -- I paid $15
for it!
./ o @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@ [at]
/@@ o @@@@@@@@@@@. @@@@@@ [at] O
/@@@@ . @@@@@@@o @@@@@@@@@@ @
|@@@@@ . @@@@@@@@@@@@@ o @ [at]
/@@@@@ O `.-./ . @@@@@@@@@@@@ [at] Full Moon +
| @@@@ --`-' o @@@@@@@@ @@@ [at] 2 17:08:58
|@ @@@ ` o . @@ . @@@@@ [at] Last Quarter
-
| @@ @ .-. @@@ @@@@@@ 4 16:02:05
\ . @ @@@ `-' . @@@@ @@@@
| @@ @@@@@ . @@ .
\ @@@@ @\@@ / . O . o
\ o @ [at] \ \ / . .
`\ . .\.-.___ . . .-
\ `-' `-
`-. o / | o O .
`-. / . . .
`--. . .--
`------------
If this posting offends you, then you're a WEENERBRAIN!!!
@@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@
@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@ @@ @@ @@
@@ @@@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@
@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@ @@ @@
@@ @@ @@ @@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Dedicated to Gene Roddenberry, who died last year...
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
-------\__/
| * /
|_____-/ BOSTON, MASSACHUSSETTS <-- SITE OF WORLD.COM PUBLIC ACCESS
UNIX
ONLY A DOLLAR A MINUTE PLUS
CONNECT TIME!
AND NO I DON'T KNOW MICHAEL DUKAKIS PERSONALLY!
^L
12345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890XXXXX
DON'T GO INTO THE X'S !!!!!
^L
^L
^L
^D
^D
^D
.
exit
stop
bye
^C
^Z
!sh
!ed
/exit
quit
q
/quit
~x
help
help stop
!help
logout
$signoff
write sysop "how do i stop this ???"
psot
post
^P^O^S^T
this line intentionally left blank so that the following line will be
#350.
THIS IS THE THREE HUNDRED FIFTIETH LINE OF MY
.SIGNATURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the edn
P.S.:
----------
>From mathew [at] mantis.co.uk Tue Jul 2 11:28:05 1991
To: James 'Kibo' Parry <kibo [at] world.std.com>
Subject: Re: Call for creation of alt.evolutionary.acceleration
From: Industrial Poet <mathew [at] mantis.co.uk>
Comments: Civilization is a momentary failure of entropy
Date: Tue, 02 Jul 91 10:55:39 BST
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.
Might I suggest adding the following quote to your .signature:
"It seems like it's time to retire the length-of-sig-wasted-bandwidth
flame.
The point really is, News is BIG and .signatures, even long ones, are
small."
- Mark-Jason Dominus
<mjd [at] central.cis.upenn.edu>
mathew
----------
--
--
>From stev0 [at] sti.com Sat May 9 01:19:46 1992
Date: Fri, 8 May 92 22:19:07 PDT
From: stev0 [at] sti.com (Steve Berlin)
To: kibo [at] world.std.com
Subject: Re: your .sig
Hi there.
Thanks for your nifty .sig. I already got a copy from
alt.fan.warlord,
but with such a wonderful work of art, you can never have too many
copies,
can you? Well, of course you can! I mean, "Mona Lisa" is a damn good
painting, but am I going to hang it in every room in my apartment?
No!
But I digress.
Anyway, to make your .sig a bit more "user-friendly", here is an index
for
it. The numbers, of course, refer to line numbers.
I'll let someone ELSE do a table of contents.
Suggestions for index:
1) Append it to the end of the .sig
2) Include it as a seperate file
3) Just delete the damn thing, log off, and watch Ren and Stimpy
or (my favorite): append it to the end of your sig, THEN log off and
watch Ren and Stimpy.
- Stev0
13, Rot - 610-623
Address - 55-58
Autograph, Burroughs, William S. - 527-533
Child, Dying - 155-174
Copyright - 86-88
Credits - 19,20
Dedication - 781-783
Disclaimers - 22-25, 89-98, 142, 153, 216, 276, 474, 677-686, 772, 790
Drawings, ASCII:
Bozo - 644-670
Brain - 28-37
Bunny, Energizer, Being Nuked - 540-556
Check, Amiga - 223-243
Dog - 40-48
Enterprise - 501-506, 692-695
Simpson, Bart, Minimalist - 245-253
Sword - 692-709
Terminator - 478-489
unknown (command flow?) 736-744
unknown (computer?) 293-300
End, The - 775-780, 831
Favorites:
Author - 77-81
Font - 144-146
Heavy Metal Band - 245-253
Movie - 137-138
Movie - 478-489
Painters - 641-643
Quotes - 388-440
Quotes, Star Trek - 507-511
SF Short Story - 207-208
Skeleton Joke - 210
Feh, Fee Fi Fo - 638
Font, BUA - 257-273
Font, Biggest UA - 559-609
GIF, R-Rated - 626-635
History - 2-16
Line 350 - 828
Manuals, MTS - 535-537
Map, Australia - 308-320
Map, Massachusetts - 785-788
Map, Moon 442-473, 748-771
Network, Sean Coates' - 350-362
Peeks, Twin - 176-205
Phobias - 712-716
Posts Made, Number of - 364-386
Quitting Attempts - 794-825
Quotes, Random - 57-75, 83, 84, 99-135, 140-152, 212-214, 321-348,
490-497, 514-525, 723-734
Scissors - 745-746
Score, Tetris - 220
Smilies - 303-305
Space, Blank - 280-291
Virus, .Sig, German - 672-674
====
Alt.alien.visitors elected me OFFICIAL Spokesman For The Planet Earth!
---------
In article <13bvonINN6il [at] darkstar.UCSC.EDU> carolo [at] cse.ucsc.edu
signed:
>-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
>Carol Osterbrock * Life is too short for 4 line .sigs
>carolo [at] cse.ucsc.edu * -- well, if Kibo didn't say it, he should
have
>==============================================================================
----------
UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this
IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED.
RMS told me to plug the League For Programmed Freedom in my .signature
so I did. Join the LPF! RMS is cool.
SEE BATMAN 2 !!!!
--
I HAVE A BLACK BELT !
--
--
Today's sign of hidden brain damage:
My throat is closer than it seems.
* *
___________________________________________________________________
Sheffield Linux User's Group -
http://www.sheflug.co.uk/mailfaq.html
GNU the choice of a complete generation.